Thursday, December 31, 2009

I'm so charming.

Other than that, it went pretty well.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Excuses, excuses.

Hey all! Sorry for being a total lazyass about posting for the past month — with work, holidays, suddenly having a social life, blah-blah-blah, my energy is kinda sapped and my time is totally eaten up. On the plus side, however, I've started drawing again and have a couple of new comics all inked up and ready to be scanned. So hell yeah, starting tomorrow, Newspaper Johnson's coming back!

Now, with school and work, January-May is going to make the last few weeks look fuckin' serene. I'm not bitching, 'cause I'm so excited about going back to school that I just peed myself a little bit, but that does mean I probably won't have much time to dedicate myself to comics. Don't despair! I'm probably just going to cut back on the quality a little bit, and do things old-school Wasted Talent style. Some of my funniest comics were scrawled in the margins of my notebooks while slogging through some GER at Emory, so I'm actually kind of excited. Get ready for comic after comic centered around recondite anthropology in-jokes!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Dad's reaction.

Let me just clarify that I'm 99.9% sure my dad is joking... but still, come ON.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Another 3 a.m. comic!

Sometimes blowing your problems way out of proportion at 3 a.m. makes it easier to laugh them off. This is one of those times.

For those who don't know, I'm officially enrolled to take two anthro classes at Georgia State next semester! The only bad part is that I need to scrape up $700 to pay the "mandatory student fee" ($250 of which goes toward athletics — coughcoughbullshitcoughcough), but I figure if I whore myself out 972 times at $0.72 a pop, I'll have it covered.

I've decided I'm iffy about whether to post the "Dad's Reaction to My Date" comic, 'cause it's kinda offensive. We'll see.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Telling My Parents About a Recent Date, Part 1: Mom.

Such stringent standards! How can any guy expect to measure up?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Insomnica Comics!

This is what I do when I wake up at some obscene hour and can't go back to sleep. Also, I drew this awhile ago, hence the old-timey style. I'm working on some new comics, but I've been so busy with work that I've barely had time to think. Grahhhhh

Sunday, November 1, 2009


Turns out pacifists aren't that good at paintball.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Raul's housewarming party.

Waking up with a bunch of bizarre writing running the entire length of your arm is usually a sign of a night well spent.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Jesus humpers.

Ironically, the people who held up the signs were all baristas at Java Lords.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Peter is the man.

Peter, on paintballing with the rest of our coworkers:

"I'll go if I have to, but I'll bring a real gun."
"My paint will be red."

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Blast from the not-so-distant past.

Some comics I did during my last trip to Vermont, way back in January, featuring the lovely, incomparable, and totally rad Dave, Kate, and Sean! (Not pictured: the equally lovely, incomparable, and totally rad Colin and Aaron. I miss you guys!)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Fabulous Mameshiba Adventures: Part 2 of 2

When last we left Brooke, she was fruitlessly trying to get her then-boyfriend to open a package of chocolate-covered coffee beans and find the mameshiba inside. Mameshiba, you'll remember, are weird Japanese bean-dogs that pop out of food and share disturbing trivia. I wish I could say this video explains everything, but it actually explains nothing and will probably leave you even more confused than you already were:

Note: There is an English-subtitled version, but it's a lot funnier when you have no clue what they're singing.

And now, I present Fabulous Mameshiba Adventures Part 2!

Erm, so yeah, epic battle in front of Caribou Coffee = strange looks. Yeah.

Anyway, I'm sorry this went up so late. I kinda fell out of love with this comic after awhile, but I'd already put up the first part, so I had to follow through. Later tonight, I'm going to post up a couple of older comics I drew earlier this year just to make up for the posting delay. And on the plus side, I have two more comics all queued up for this Tuesday and Thursday, and another one that's almost ready to be inked. Yayay productivity!

One more thing: Last night, I went to a fun-ass party at Raul's, and a bunch of people told me they'd read my work and like it. I can't describe how great it feels to know that people are reading these things, let alone liking them. So yay, thanks for reading!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Fabulous Mameshiba Adventures: Part 1 of 2

Note: Before you read this comic, you really should watch this video. Otherwise, it's not gonna make much sense. Also, this video is totally hilarious and bizarre-bordering-on-postmodern, and will make you consider moving to Japan if only to try to figure out what the fuck:

Okay, now that you're thoroughly puzzled, here's the comic:

Thus ends Part 1 of Fabulous Mameshiba Adventures! Will Mikey discover the hidden Mameshiba? Will Brooke's sneaky plan come to fruition? Didn't they break up or something? (Yes.) TUNE IN THURSDAY TO FIND OUT!!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

They opened up my eyes.

Holy crap, color! This took for-friggin'-ever to put together, but I think it's worth it. Opinions?

I'm pushing the longer comic about the A.T. back to Tuesday. After getting a verbal beatdown from my idol, I decided to move my drawing style in a new direction. I tried some new things last night, and I'm really pleased with how well they turned out!

Monday, October 5, 2009

My bizarre life.

So, I'm trying some new things with my drawing and lettering style! It's going to be a little shaky at first, but I keep reminding myself that it was also a big leap when I stopped drawing stick figures and started including details like noses and eyebrows. I'm working on a longer comic about finishing the Georgia section of the Appalachian Trail this weekend (btdubs, I finished the Georgia section of the Appalachian Trail this weekend OMGZ), and already I'm getting a much better hang of this new style. No one tell Julia Wertz I'm cribbing from her.

I'm also experimenting a bit more with shading in Photoshop. I'm not wild about how the trees came out, but I think the different shades of gray add some cool detail to my people. Oh, and next Tuesday, I'm doing a comic in full color. I know, exciting, right?

Thursday, October 1, 2009

I'm a creep magnet.

I experimented a bit with shading in Photoshop this time around! What do you think?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


Excuse the horrible background color. My scanner stopped working this morning, so I had to take a picture of this comic with my camera. Best day ever?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Musical Recommendations Part 2

Part 2! Remember, if you want a mix CD, just let me know. You'll shit yourself, it'll be so awesome.

I'm using a new method of drawing in the comic I'm working on now. It's a bit more time-consuming, but I think the overall effect is going to look a LOT nicer. I also have a couple of older stick-figure drawings I kinda want to scan in. They don't look as nice, but they feature some pretty ridiculous shit, including:

a. the lovely Stephanie Anderson defacing my mom, and
b. me tickling Mikhail Gorbachev.

So that's totally worth putting on my blog.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Musical Recommendations Part 1

If anyone wants to hear these gorgeous, enlightening, life-changing songs, let me know and I'll totally send you a mix CD.

I edited this comic in Photoshop instead of the ghetto-ass program I have on my home computer. I think it looks a lot cleaner!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Scare bear.

I can't attest to the bear's point of view, but everything in the left-hand column is verbatim.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Portland: Part 4

I still think most kids are obnoxious, but that one's an exception.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Portland: Part 3

Actually, jumping in the chimp enclosure would be a mistake for two reasons:

1) Fratboys would question their monkey sexuality, and
2) The chimps would almost certainly eviscerate us.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Portland: Part 1

Portland is friggin' awesome, and if you don't believe me, maybe this and the next three comics will convince you.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Double-comic bonanza!

I'm going to Portland in a few hours and won't have a chance to post a comic tomorrow, so you get two updates today.


J-pop is my technical documentation muse.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Visiting Family: Part 3 of 3

I've actually already picked out a nursing home for my mom.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Visiting Family: Part 2 of 3

Farting is how we say, "I love you."

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Visiting Family: Part 1 of 3

I always forget that driving ≠ invisible.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Animals in party hats.

Click to see it in full size. (It looks better that way, I promise.)

Drawn after Cat's bachelorette party. The Sausage and Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. were very dapper, if somewhat traumatized.